Riddle with no answer / News for old people / ‘Everyone should watch’

Riddle with no answer. How long does the Chicago Fire Department take to answer calls for help? Eight years after the city’s departing inspector general asked that question, the department still can’t say—because it’s not tracking the data.
The Tribune: Since Chicago’s Mercy Hospital stopped welcoming ambulances, the University of Illinois Hospital’s been slammed with them.
Someone stole an ambulance on the North Side last night, crashing into a bicyclist and a car.

Scooter revival? A City Council committee is poised to clear electric scooter sharing’s return to Chicago streets.
Another report from the city’s inspector general concludes that, in WTTW reporter Heather Cherone’s words, “several of the most powerful members of the Chicago City Council used employees of the City Council committees they led to perform work in their wards, a potential violation of state law.”
Redevelopment plans for Chicago’s South Side are in line for a $20 million boost.

Chicago’s Texas connection. The Sun-Times reports that court documents link a car fraudulently rented in Texas—maybe by a Chicago-based crew of rental thieves—to a shootout that shocked the city last month.

 (Cartoon: Keith J. Taylor.)

‘I can guarantee you that no-pay status will not last more than 30 days.’ In video posted to YouTube, Chicago Fraternal Order of Police President John Catanzara encourages cops to refuse to report their COVID-19 vaccination status—and to risk getting sent home Friday.
That declaration arrived alongside word that Catanzara’s predecessor, Dean Angelo Sr., had died of the coronavirus …
 … after Angelo’s son, also a cop, declined to say whether his father had been vaccinated.

‘If the airlines … can’t figure out a way to compensate people properly, then the government needs to … make them do it.’ A Trib editorial on Southwest’s debacle: “Airlines need to take better care of their customers. Or else.”
Southwest’s at the center of the culture war over vaccines.

News for old people.
Millions on Social Security are in line for the program’s biggest cost-of-living boost in 39 years.
Reversing years of common wisdom, a government task force says the risks of taking “baby aspirin” to prevent a first heart attack outweigh the benefits for older adults.
Updating coverage: Star Trek’s William Shatner today blasted off to become the oldest person in space.

‘If an old guy with a cane or John Cusack are the only people receiving votes for postseason MVP, your team did not have a good playoff appearance.’ Midway Minute proprietor Kevin Kaduk reflects on the White Sox’s “unavoidable” season-ender.
Sox manager Tony La Russa says the victorious Houston Astros need to answer for “a character shortage.”

‘A hokey, overlong morality play that everyone should watch.’ Critic Aaron Barnhart reviews Hulu’s Dopesick, starring Michael Keaton.
Columnist Clarence Page on Dave Chappelle’s controversial new Netflix special: “I watched it—twice—this week.”

Subscribe to Square.