Home-buying overhaul / ‘We need immigrants’ / Quiz / Dingus of the Week

Home-buying overhaul. Heralding what The Wall Street Journal calls “the biggest changes to how Americans buy and sell homes in decades,” the Chicago-based National Association of Realtors has settled claims that the industry conspired to keep agent commissions high.

Prime suspect: Hamburglar. McDonald’s was grappling with a worldwide system “technology outage” that disrupted online and self-serve kiosk orders.
 More than a month after a cyberattack, Lurie Children’s Hospital has begun the slow process of reviving its online patient portal, MyChart.

‘It’s not just you.’ Acknowledging that “any number of reporters and political and legal analysts … are exhausted by the pace of the news,” law professor Joyce Vance offers an overview of courtroom battles underway “because the Republicans have picked a crazy criminal to be their presidential candidate.”
 Here’s the AP’s interactive attempt to do the same.
 The judge in the Georgia election interference case against Donald Trump says the district attorney there must step aside or remove the special prosecutor with whom she had a romantic relationship.
 Trump was in a Florida courtroom yesterday as a federal judge refused to dismiss charges he’d mishandled classified documents.
 Jimmy Kimmel: “What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top-secret documents were taken by a president who by all accounts does not read.”
 Public Notice’s Chicago columnist Noah Berlatsky: “Republicans don’t actually want you to remember four years ago.”

Stuck on you. Chicagoans who head to the polls Tuesday will get a newly redesigned “I voted” sticker.
 WBEZ and the Sun-Times take a close look at someone holding a bunch of cards in Tuesday’s election: Cook County Board President and Democratic Party chair Toni Preckwinkle.

‘Inoperable.’ That’s how an outside review described two Illinois prisons—Stateville and Logan—that the state’s now pledging to rebuild.
 Writing for The Marshall Project, a North Carolina prisoner details the bureaucratic obstacles to wearing boxer shorts instead of traditional women’s underwear.

‘We need immigrants.’ A Tribune editorial makes the case: “More workers. More cultural contributions. More taxpayers, sharing our burdens.”
 The latest census numbers show Cook County’s exodus slowed a bit in 2023.
 Meanwhile, Chicago’s moving to evict migrants from shelters this weekend—with no clear plan for what’s next.

Measles rising. Chicago’s case count in recent days has grown to 12.
 Axios: “The outbreak is raising questions about how the city manages migrant health care and vaccinations, and stoking fears that it could stigmatize new arrivals.”

‘It cannot be overstated how unhinged Musk’s behavior is.’ CNN’s Oliver Darcy (middle of his latest column) calls out Elon Musk’s embrace of unverified claims of cannibalism among Haitian migrants …
 … which NBC News notes are getting tens of millions of views on Musk’s Twitter X.

‘This verdict does not bring back their children.’ But standing next to the families of four students shot and killed at a Michigan high school, the prosecutor who yesterday won conviction of the shooter’s dad said she hopes the verdict will help end gun violence.
 A law professor explains a key to the case: The father and the mother—who was similarly convicted last month—“bought their son the handgun as a Christmas present and later took him to target practice.”

Another one of our guys made it. A suburban man’s in custody, accused of firing a gun during the Jan. 6, 2021, insurrection.
 A reminder that you can help the feds ID suspects in that riot here.

‘A no-going-back moment for Democrats.’ That’s how Semafor’s Benjy Sarlin describes Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer’s speech “excoriating Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s right-wing government.”
 The Intercept: “The left is finally building a response to … the country’s flagship Israel lobby group, the American Israel Public Affairs Committee.”
 An American University professor of Jewish history: Israel’s “divided over the Jewish religion.”

‘The movement to ban TikTok is full of hypocrisies.’ Byron Tau at NOTUS: “Sure, TikTok could be used against Americans—in the exact ways the U.S. uses technology against others.”
 ABC News debunks four TikTok myths.

Feeling the luck of the Irish? Past Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions winner Fritz Holznagel invites you to try this week’s news quiz.
 Get more than 4/8 right and you’ll have done better than your humble columnist.

Dingus of the Week. Lyz Lenz’s pick: Boeing. “Planes are literally falling out of the sky because our government can’t fund the one department that actually would keep us safe. But the good news is, politicians got together and decided that the real threat was TikTok.”
 Actually, I'm a Very Nice Person columnist and Chicago media veteran Julia Gray names her “Chodes of March.”

Air fryer alert. Best Buy’s recalling more than a quarter of a million of ’em, because they could melt or shatter.
 Check to see if you have one here.

‘Looking for something exceptional and concise to read every morning, I’ve sampled many things! You are the first one I’m paying for because … I want you to continue!’ Those are the words of one of this week’s new Chicago Public Square supporters. (Guess which one?)
 You can join those ranks—for as little as $1, once—here.
 Mike Braden made this edition better.

Subscribe to Square.