‘The president … pantsing the GOP’ / Skittles belittled / Dingus of the Week / Quiz

‘The president … pantsing the GOP.’ Savoring the Senate’s final approval of a debt ceiling deal, Sun-Times columnist Neil Steinberg compares “Sleepy Joe’s” performance to “those predatory insects disguising themselves as leaves until they snap into action and devour some hapless beetle.”
The AP: How Biden and House Speaker McCarthy staved off catastrophe.
The president’s win came on the same day he tripped and fell onstage at the U.S. Air Force Academy graduation.
An Illinois rep who voted no on the debt ceiling bill says she would have voted yes if it would’ve made a difference.
Charlie Pierce at Esquire says the lesson here is that only money matters: “As soon as Wall Street and the financial elite started getting publicly nervous about the possibility of a default … all bluffs were … effectively dispatched into an alternate reality.”
Coincidentally: The U.S. last month added a robust 339,000 jobs.

Park outside. Ford is advising the owners of more than 140,000 SUVs not to park inside, well, anything—because they can catch fire even when the engine’s off …
 … because the battery monitor sensor can short-circuit and overheat.

Skittles belittled. Health activists are encouraging the U.S. to ban titanium dioxide, widely used to brighten colors in candies including Skittles and M&Ms—but also linked to a range of ailments including birth defects and genetic damage.
Wired: The legacy of the pandemic rush to stockpile hand sanitizer is a noxious and explosive brew of leftover product catching fire and making people sick.

Venmo/Paypal/etc. warning. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says not to store cash in those apps for long periods of time because a financial crisis could leave that cash unprotected.
Read the report: “Consumers should … transfer their nonbank payment app balances back to their federally insured deposit accounts.”

14-year-old killed. And four others were hurt in a South Side shooting last night.
Chicago police report homicides running below the pace of recent years.
Complaining of “retaliation,” the woman overseeing Chicago police reforms is quitting—and invoking the state’s whistleblower protections.

‘Move-in ready.’ Over the objections of some neighbors, 400 migrants will take temporary shelter at Chicago’s Daley College this weekend.
Broadway Armory Park could be next.

‘The city must seriously consider … reparations.’ The Urban League’s “State of Black Chicago 2023” report projects more closed businesses and shuttered schools if the city doesn’t address racial inequities.

Dingus of the Week. Men Yell at Me columnist Lyz Lenz bestows that distinction on people boycotting Target for selling—or having sold—LGBTQ-friendly merchandise: “The invisible hand of the free market decided it was gay.”
Just two aisles are open at a new Chicago Walgreens; the rest of the store’s locked up.
CNN: Chick-fil-A has become “a surprise target of right-wing ire.”
The Onion again: “Chick-fil-A replaced all chicken with copies of How To Be An Anti-Racist.”

Psammophile. That word clinched the National Spelling Bee title for a Florida 14-year-old.
He says he was “despondent” 15 months ago.

Can you beat your Chicago Public Square columnist’s perfect score? Of course not—because there’s no extra credit on this week’s news quiz, devised by quizmaster and past Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions winner Fritz Holznagel.
Be advised that this week’s edition contains spoilers for the Succession finale …
 … but know that science says spoilers don’t reduce enjoyment—and often can increase it (2016 link).
Don’t you think a perfect score justifies a reward—like, um, maybe a week off?

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