Tr**p-free edition? / Slow down, Chicago / Fake oohs

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‘We have reached the point at which there is not much to be said that we haven’t already heard.’ That’s columnist Charlie Madigan, pronouncing himself out of things to say about the presidential election …
■ … which prompts the question: Can we make it through a whole edition of Chicago Public Square without mentioning the convicted felon who used to be president? Hm, let’s see … How about a story that affects virtually everyone in town?

Slow down, Chicago. A committee’s sending the full City Council an ordinance to cut the citywide speed limit from 30 to 25 mph …
■ Also advancing: A plan to ticket drivers photographed parking in bike lanes.
■ Illinois is launching a new program to educate motorists about the dangers of texting, reading and eating while driving.

‘An urgent matter of public safety.’ A national civil rights group is calling on Chicago to fire the at least eight cops tied to the racist, extremist Oath Keepers.
■ Chicago’s weekend violence tally: At least nine dead, more than a dozen wounded.

Outta here. Amid a chaotic struggle for control of Chicago’s schools, Mayor Johnson’s deputy mayor of education is taking a leave of absence.
■ Evidently at wits’ end, the school board’s canceled its last pre-election meeting.

‘I got drop-kicked into DiabetesLand.’ Columnist Neil Steinberg says his new diagnosis has sparked a passion for country music, which has “an honesty … extra valuable in a time of distress.”
■ The Tribune: Medical companies are pushing glucose trackers—and not just for diabetics, but also for people who “want to see how food and activity … might be connected to their mood, energy level and sleep quality.”

Fake oohs. A new Federal Trade Commission rule’s now in effect, banning the sale or purchase of online reviews—including those written without disclosure by company insiders.
■ Speaking of which: New York magazine has cut star D.C. correspondent Olivia Nuzzi after revelation of her previously undisclosed “personal relationship” with Robert F. Kennedy, about whom she wrote a long cover story almost a year ago.

Back, baby—sort of. The invaluable Internet Archive was slowly recovering from the cyberattacks of Oct. 8 …
■ … which means much—but not all—of the Chicago Public Square podcast series is back online …
■ … although, as of early today, features like uploading and borrowing content remained unavailable.
■ At least one of the hackers has been answering the Archive’s email.

‘Who are the three people you’re voting with?’ Author and filmmaker Michael Moore envisions a world where your ballot is quadrupled.
■ Poynter’s Tom Jones: The presidential race “is too tight to draw any conclusions. So don’t.”
■ The AP’s assembled a list of the top 25 people, places, races, dates and things to know as Election Day nears.

‘A sound overseer of the U.S. economy.’ USA Today’s Chicago-based columnist Rex Huppke says Kamala Harris’ economic plan is far better than that advanced by … um, you know … her opponent. (Whew.)

‘You can’t Dick Cheney or Taylor Swift. What country did Taylor Swift get us to invade? No!’ Daily Show host Jon Stewart pressed Harris running mate Tim Walz on the Democrats’ embrace of Iraq war architect Dick Cheney.
■ Late-night monologues went hard on … (oh, damn it, here it comes) … Donald Trump’s remarks about Arnold Palmer.
■ Jimmy Fallon: “I think one of his staffers must have said, ‘We need to focus on the polls,’ and Trump was like, ‘Oh, I’ll focus on the poles.’” (Cartoon: Jack Ohman.)

‘You don’t throw salt like that.’ Actual McDonald’s workers say (what the hell, it was a nice idea while it lasted) Trump flunked his tryout as a fast-food worker.
■ Progress Report editor and restaurant kitchen vet Jordan Zakarin: Trump’s stunt was “an insult to millions of workers.” (Another Ohman cartoon.)

‘What (really) happens if Trump wins.’ Political scientist Rachel Bitecofer sees clear parallels to Hitler: “His plan is dictatorship, not democracy.”
■ Cartoonist Tom Tomorrow samples the latest from the “Project 2025 Comics Group,” The Unbelievable Trump: “Trump smash enemies within! Including Democrats and the media! And all the corrupt prosecutors! Trump want retribution! And also to stay out of jail!”
■ The Onion mocks up a point-counterpoint between a Trump apologist and Trump himself: “We Need To Take Trump’s Rhetoric Seriously, But Not Literally vs. Have That Guy Killed.”

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Penalty stroke / ‘Trump could lose’ / ‘Don’t send your kids to college’

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Penalty stroke. Convicted felon and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s paying a price in ridicule after kicking off a Pennsylvania rally by, in the AP’s words, “talking about Arnold Palmer’s genitalia.”
■ Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Will Bunch was there: “As nightfall finally descended, Trump jerked awkwardly on stage to the disco of the Village People’s ‘YMCA,’ which seemed to bring it all full circle. I was sort of glad Arnold Palmer wasn’t here to see this.”
■ Columnist Jeff Tiedrich: “I guess the vulgar degenerate who liked to walk in on half-naked teenage Miss USA contestants as they were dressing was also doing double-duty in men’s shower rooms.”
■ Lynn Sweet at the Sun-Times: “In another dimension, a comment by a presidential candidate about a guy’s junk would make it impossible to win support from swing voters” …
■ … and yet, on a story whose first sentence ends with the words “praising the late, legendary golfer’s genitalia,” the Sun-Times itself bestowed this flaccid headline: “Trump touts Arnold Palmer” …
■ … and The New York Times’ live blog went with “Palmer golf stories.”
■ Before Palmer’s death in 2016, his daughter says, he was “appalled” by Trump.
■ Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson: Trump’s remarks were just part of his rallies’ “fun.”
■ Jokes have been plentiful across the web: Mike Godwin (of “Godwin’s Law” fame): “I’m afraid that if I order a stiff drink, they’ll give me an Arnold Palmer.”
■ Actually, I’m a Nice Person columnist Julia Gray is ready to swear off Trump mockery: “It isn’t funny anymore.”

Well, he is good at grimacing. Trump held a drive-thru news conference as he “worked” at a McDonald’s yesterday …
■ … but, historian Heather Cox Richardson notes, “the restaurant was closed, the five ‘customers’ were loyalists who had practiced their roles, and when Trump handed food through the drive-through window, he did not take money or make change.”
■ Time: For Trump, the stunt’s “the culmination of a yearslong fascination” with the chain.
■ Marisa Kabas at The Handbasket: “Too many news outlets reported it credulously, while a scant few called out the more sinister undertones of him making a campaign stop to accuse—with zero proof—Vice President Kamala Harris of lying about working there when she was a student.”
■ HuffPost: Trump’s “claim about his brain didn’t quite hold up” through a “town hall” event yesterday.

Badgered. The American Prospect: Wisconsin voters are feeling the heat.
■ Ex-President Obama was to campaign for Harris today in Chicago.
■ Stevie Wonder sang her “Happy (60th) Birthday” yesterday. (Video here.)
■ Author and filmmaker Michael Moore offers kids 8 to 17 “ideas on what you can do to help get your candidate elected.”

‘Trump could lose.’ USA Today columnist Rex Huppke says MAGA folks may want to start considering that prospect.
■ A senior advisor to Harris’ campaign, David Plouffe, contends that she has an edge in “irregular” voters …
■ … but Stop the Presses columnist Mark Jacob frets: “If Trump wins, will major media fall in line? There’s little reason for confidence that they’d resist a dictator.”

Up and at ’em. Chicago and Cook County today expand citizens’ options for voting early.
■ On the ballot: A referendum on a millionaire tax that, in Axios’ words, “carries echoes of the state’s failed 2020 graduated tax referendum and the city’s recent unsuccessful ‘Bring Chicago Home’ ballot question.”
■ Ready to do it? Your Chicago Public Square Voter Guide Guide is here to show you how.

‘Hi, I’m Neil, I’m a diabetic ...’ Columnist Neil Steinberg: “I’ve been going through … let’s call it a medical crisis.”
■ His Sun-Times colleagues report: “Members of Congress from Illinois who sit on legislative committees key to regulating the pharmaceutical industry have accepted more than $300,000 in campaign contributions from drug companies and their affiliates in the current election cycle.”

It’s not over. The Internet Archive breach is far from resolved. Sunday, at least some of the more than 800,000 people who’ve filed more than 800,000 support tickets with the Archive since 2018 got this creepy email, ostensibly via the Archive’s Zendesk customer support interface: “As demonstrated by this message … whether you were trying to ask a general question, or requesting the removal of your site from the Wayback Machine—your data is now in the hands of some random guy. If not me, it’d be someone else.”
■ The Archive remained largely inaccessible today, 12 days after the first breach.

‘Don’t send your kids to college.’ Chicago-based investor and former 1871 CEO Howard Tullman: “Learning how to do something, like carpentry, may have more value than going to a university for four expensive years.”
■ New research finds more Chicago kids graduating high school—but the college graduation rate’s nothing to celebrate.
■ The Hustle has crunched the numbers to identify the most affordable cities for homebuyers …
■ … and Chicago doesn’t come out too bad.

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